A Concise and Perhaps Factual History of Chocolate Milk

Chocolate Milk

Editor's Note: Ramiz's research seems spot-on. I didn't fact-check him on this because he was tenacious and passionate, and I like to see that in a writer. So, enjoy this article, and take the information with a grain of salt. -Garrett Sams

The history of chocolate milk is an extensive one filled with many hardships, friendships, and beautiful ingenuity. Sir Hans Sloane was an Irish botanist who spent time in Jamaica with cacoa trees. One thing led to another, and he used his genius to create an elixir of life. When one consumes chocolate milk, only then do they understand the beauty of life. Here at LCS our wonderful lunch staff serves chocolate milk every Thursday. As a self-proclaimed chocolate milk connoisseur, I have tried many varieties of chocolate milk in my brief existence. I hope to give insight to the deliciousness that is the chocolate milk of LCS.

Thursdays at LCS are days of buzzing excitement, though the excitement is not for the food itself. Rather the chocolate milk is what fuels the frinzzy. LCS chocolate milk is a drink that can heighten any meal with its rich creaminess and strong chocolate flavor. The feeling of the cold, creamy liquid running down your esophagus can be best described as an unparalleled bliss. I recommend that all students try the milk, but you don’t have to take my word for it. Molly Fitzgerald, another avid chocolate milk drinker, gave me her opinion on the school’s chocolate milk and some other things.

Q: Do you enjoy the school chocolate milk, and why?

A: Not only do I enjoy the school chocolate milk but I think it is hands down the best chocolate milk I have ever tasted. The cows from which the milk is derived are premium-bred black and white spotted cows. The milk is creamy, thick, sweet, and infused with the perfect cacao. This milk is what the Aztecs died for.

Q: What was your first experience with the school milk like?

A: So we used to have these cartons of milk and they just tasted like the paper the carton was made of, but this year when the first Thursday rolled up the milk was actually contained in state-of-the art stainless steel containers. I was reluctant to try some at first since I remembered my horrible experiences with the past paper milk, but eventually I decided I had to get in on the action and I had my first sip. Immediately… I melted.

Q: How many other chocolate milks have you tried and how does ours compare?

A: I’ve had Nesquik, Hershey’s, carton, homemade, store bought, soy, almond, and coconut, and I can honestly say that no other chocolate milk even begins to compare.

Q: Do you think that one day of chocolate milk a week is enough?

A: To give it you to straight… NO!

Molly makes an excellent observation in the last question: one day of chocolate milk is simply not enough. For us to enjoy our lunches and school lives to the fullest, chocolate milk every day would surely do the job. The students and staff look forward to chocolate milk day throughout the whole week. Even Friday, our minds are focused on next week’s chocolate milk day, so the most logical course of action would be to serve chocolate milk daily. This would propel the school to newfound heights and cultivate a rich learning environment. Almost as rich as the chocolate milk itself.